Raising Flexible Thinkers
How Everyday Moments Shape Your Child’s Mind
Using the science of Relational Frame Theory to develop language and cognition.
Here we go!
A Parent-Friendly Guide to Relational Frame Theory in Real Life
If you’ve ever watched your child insist that the blue cup is the “big one,” or declare “I’m bad at puzzles” after a single try, you’ve already witnessed the building blocks of their thinking in action. These tiny moments—funny, frustrating, and everything in between—are actually the foundation of how your child learns to understand the world.
And the science behind those moments?
It’s called Relational Frame Theory (RFT)—the same framework behind FlexiPlay.
Today, we’re going to zoom out from micro‑games and look at the everyday interactions that quietly shape your child’s flexibility, emotional intelligence, and problem‑solving skills.
What Is Relational Framing (In Parent Language)?
Relational framing is the brain’s ability to connect things:
This is bigger than that.
This happened before that.
I feel different from how you feel.
This can be used like that.
Kids don’t just learn facts—they learn relationships between things. And those relationships become the scaffolding for language, empathy, creativity, and resilience.
RFT breaks these relationships into patterns called frames, and your child practices them constantly.
Here are the big ones you see every day:
1. Comparison Frames
“Which one is bigger, louder, faster, softer?”
2. Oppositional Frames
“Hot vs. cold.”
“Go vs. stop.”
“Mine vs. yours.”
3. Hierarchical Frames
“Dogs are animals.”
“Forks are silverware.”
4. Perspective-Taking Frames
“What do you think?”
“How does she feel?”
5. Temporal Frames
“First we clean up, then we play.”
6. Causal Frames
“If I push this, it falls.”
7. Coordination Frames
“This is called a dog”
“My name is Jane”
These frames are the invisible architecture of your child’s thinking—and you’re shaping them all day long without even realizing it.
Why These Tiny Moments Matter
When children build flexible relational frames, they develop:
Cognitive Flexibility
They can shift perspectives, try new strategies, and adapt when things don’t go as planned.
Emotional Regulation
They learn to name feelings, compare intensities, and understand others’ experiences.
Problem-Solving Skills
They can think in categories, sequences, and cause/effect patterns.
Resilience
They learn that “I can’t do this yet” is different from “I’m bad at this.”
This is the heart of process-based development: strengthening the underlying processes that support healthy, flexible behavior across situations.
Everyday RFT Moments You’re Already Creating
Here are simple, real-life examples of relational framing in action:
During Snack Time
“Which snack is more crunchy?”
“Show me something similar to this carrot.”
During Play
“What else could this block be?”
“Can you build it in a different way?”
During Sibling Conflict
“What do you think your brother wanted?”
“How did your choice affect him?”
During Art
“What’s another way to use this color?”
“Which one looks most like the sky?”
During Bedtime
“What happened before we brushed teeth?”
“What might happen after we read the story?”
These aren’t lessons—they’re conversations. And they’re powerful.
Micro-Games
FlexiPlay micro‑games intentionally strengthen the same relational frames your child practices in daily life. The difference is intentionality:
You’re not just reacting to moments—you’re designing them.
You’re not just hoping for flexibility—you’re cultivating it.
You’re not just teaching skills—you’re shaping processes.
Relational Frame Theory helps us as parents see the “why” behind the games. FlexiPlay micro games give us the “how.”
Together, they create a nourishing developmental ecosystem.
A Simple Invitation for Parents
If you want to nurture flexible thinking in your child, start by noticing the relational frames already happening in your home. Then, sprinkle in small prompts that stretch your child’s mind just a little further.
And if you want structured, developmentally matched micro‑games that build these skills intentionally, FlexiPlay is the perfect next step.
